Mindcraft Therapy in Retford

Being an environmentally friendly chap I tend to read my newspaper on the Internet (or “ont internet” as Peter Kay might say). This obviously works with my eco-friendly ethos and has absolutely nothing at all to do with my being a lazy skinflint and not wanting to walk to the newsagents and spend actual money on a paper.

Anyway, unless you’ve just landed on planet Earth or you’ve been living under a rock of late, I’m sure you’ll have seen or heard a great deal in the news about a certain Mr Tiger Woods and his extra-marital indiscretions.

I’m not really a fan of golf nor am I particularly interested in what Mr Woods gets up to in his private or for that matter his public life but what does interest me from a therapists point of view, is how other people feel they are affected by a story like this – how people who don’t even know Tiger Woods and are never likely to meet him get so emotional, so angry, or tell of their loyalty and offer words of wisdom and support.

Having followed a link from the Times Online article to a forum on Tiger Woods‘ website I was astonished to read some of the comments being directed not only at Tiger but at anyone with an opinion on the matter.

Here are few of the more negative comments directed at Tiger Woods himself:

• “Tiger….. God Rest Your Soul”
• “What would your Father think”?
• “You are such a piece of garbage”
• “Good job wrecking your family”
• “You are a laughing stock”
• “Your image was nothing but a fraud”
• “I loved you”
• “You are a fraud and a fake hero”
• “I support death for tiger”

Like everyone else I have an opinion based on my own core values and beliefs and on how I see things – how I know the world works, how my world works – not just about Tigers’ behaviour of course but on everything. What I find so interesting then is that so many of the contributors to the Tiger Woods forum hang so much blame for the way they feel onto a total stranger? As if Tiger Woods, someone who has no physical influence over their lives, at all, is in some way responsible for their anger, bitterness, sadness, as if he has somehow failed them.

As a personal development coach this is something I come across almost daily – a client feels they are stuck and cannot achieve their goal because of someone or something else. I often hear comments like “I’m not happy because they don’t like me”, “I’m not successful because I went to the wrong school” or “I’ll be happy when I win the lottery”. All of the comments above suggests that the authors have taken responsibility for the way they feel, for their anger, depression, low self esteem and self worth and given that responsibility to Tiger Woods. They are all carrying around these feelings for someone they don’t know over a situation they know nothing about! I have to agree with one contributor the forum who wrote “Why should Tiger Woods have to carry the burden of his fan’s insecurities” but I would also turn that statement around and ask “why do the fans carry the burden for Tiger Woods”?

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